I admit it. I am guilty. I am guilty of self-absorption. It's so easy to become self-absorbed. Many times you don't even realize it's happening. You only see the signs...after awhile...if you've lived for others in the past. I've noticed I haven't called someone to see how they are doing nearly as much as I used to or hardly at all, I've noticed I haven't volunteered to help anyone either. I've noticed I don't know what's going on in some close friends' lives. I've noticed I haven't paid someone else's bill. Until tonight. Now, I'm awake.
A life like mine needs a constant reminder of Jesus in it. If I don't purposely seek out His word, I am flooded with great reasons to be self-absorbed. I find it easy to simply take care of my own business-running my household, dealing with my feelings, and living in my bubble. Tonight I went to a devotional where I was challenged to do something off the wall for someone else this week...and I did.
Sometimes a busy mom has to go grocery shopping pretty late at night. Tonight was one of those nights. I dutifully grabbed some groceries and headed to the checkout line. No distractions this late at night really...I actually was not looking at my phone. Instead I found myself staring into the air and halfway listening to the conversation between a husband and wife in line in front of me. Then a familiarity in their conversation caught my attention and I became fixated on their situation. They were a Spanish-speaking family of four...and they were nervously watching their bill mount. I could understand them talking about the mounting food bill...the wife updating the husband every thirty dollars or so. The kids played around the shopping cart; ignorant to the weight on their parents shoulders standing 2 feet from them. I saw them exchange a look I remember so well from my past-that look of nervousness. The look has so many meanings. "How are we going to get through this month?" "Why do we have to consume so much?" "Are you sure we need this much?" "I hope nothing happens." It reminded me of my family. It was the familiarity in the words-words I had heard my own father or mother, brother, or sister speak in the checkout line when I tagged along. It took me back to those days of hunger and worry. I hate that feeling. The constant worry. I nervously decided that tonight, this family, would not worry. I would pay the bill. Would I really? No, I probably can't. Financially, this might get me in trouble. How do I do it? "Swipe your card at the end of the transaction," the Spirit whispers. I wish I knew how much it was. Does it matter? It will be worth it for them not to worry. Yes, they look too much like how it used to be...they are my family. It is worth it...no matter how much. God will take care of us-His finances are backwards-not like mine... I waited until the cashier announced the amount and the wife exchanged words-maybe an update-with the husband. It was my chance. Don't let it pass by... Not knowing if she would understand exactly what I was doing, I asked her to allow me into the credit card machine. She told her husband they would wait to pay until I was done doing what I was doing...she politely let me by. I ran my credit card through and the cashier asked me if I wanted to add on my things. I said no and took the receipt from him. I handed it to her. She asked, "and what is this?" I told her, "I paid for it. God told me to pay and so I did. Don't worry. Have a good night." I pat her on her shoulder and smiled. I shook throughout my whole body; I was so nervous. I didn't know what to do except turn around and start putting my own things on the counter. They lingered and talked to one another...baffled. They told me thank you and smiled. The husband simply scratched his head and looked down. They were speechless. They walked a little further and I continued to shake, keep a smile on, and put the rest of my items on the belt. They spoke to their kids. They told their daughter to come and tell me thank you. She told the cashier thank you-she was confused. I told her she was welcome and bid them a good night again. They both bid me a good night. I smiled and I didn't stop...until I got to my car, unloaded all of my groceries, and then closed the door and sat inside alone. Then I cried. Jesus did that for us. He paid the "bill" for us. How wonderful it feels. How He must have cried after.
Yes, they looked like my family. I remember receiving food from others...it felt so good that I would eat it differently. Everything tasted better-all of a sudden the same food you've always had before was sweeter. You were free to enjoy it. The weightlessness of it was rewarding. My part in blessing that family was the best feeling in the world...why don't I do that more often? How will it feel for them to carry that food into their home having not spent a dime? I know that feeling, actually...and it's a great one.
Thank you, God, for blessing me in order to bless others. Thank you for putting these resources in my care. I want to do better with them. You have asked me to take care of the widows, orphans, and the poor. I will.
I remember a religious speaker say once that you can't expect that God will bless you so that you will go and bless others. God wants to see what you do with the blessings that you have right now. If you share your blessings now, you will share them later. If you don't share them right now, you won't magically start sharing them later. So his point was...if you expect to give to the poor when you're rich, then you should already be giving when you're not. It's kind of like training. Then God can bless you and He will know what you'll do with it. In all blessings, not just money, I want to do better about taking care of them and blessing others with them now, not only when they are in abundance.
Lord, I want to do it over and over again. I want to get so good at it that it's all I live for. I love Your command--love one another. Thank you for the devotional it took tonight to wake me up from my self-absorption.
A life like mine needs a constant reminder of Jesus in it. If I don't purposely seek out His word, I am flooded with great reasons to be self-absorbed. I find it easy to simply take care of my own business-running my household, dealing with my feelings, and living in my bubble. Tonight I went to a devotional where I was challenged to do something off the wall for someone else this week...and I did.
Sometimes a busy mom has to go grocery shopping pretty late at night. Tonight was one of those nights. I dutifully grabbed some groceries and headed to the checkout line. No distractions this late at night really...I actually was not looking at my phone. Instead I found myself staring into the air and halfway listening to the conversation between a husband and wife in line in front of me. Then a familiarity in their conversation caught my attention and I became fixated on their situation. They were a Spanish-speaking family of four...and they were nervously watching their bill mount. I could understand them talking about the mounting food bill...the wife updating the husband every thirty dollars or so. The kids played around the shopping cart; ignorant to the weight on their parents shoulders standing 2 feet from them. I saw them exchange a look I remember so well from my past-that look of nervousness. The look has so many meanings. "How are we going to get through this month?" "Why do we have to consume so much?" "Are you sure we need this much?" "I hope nothing happens." It reminded me of my family. It was the familiarity in the words-words I had heard my own father or mother, brother, or sister speak in the checkout line when I tagged along. It took me back to those days of hunger and worry. I hate that feeling. The constant worry. I nervously decided that tonight, this family, would not worry. I would pay the bill. Would I really? No, I probably can't. Financially, this might get me in trouble. How do I do it? "Swipe your card at the end of the transaction," the Spirit whispers. I wish I knew how much it was. Does it matter? It will be worth it for them not to worry. Yes, they look too much like how it used to be...they are my family. It is worth it...no matter how much. God will take care of us-His finances are backwards-not like mine... I waited until the cashier announced the amount and the wife exchanged words-maybe an update-with the husband. It was my chance. Don't let it pass by... Not knowing if she would understand exactly what I was doing, I asked her to allow me into the credit card machine. She told her husband they would wait to pay until I was done doing what I was doing...she politely let me by. I ran my credit card through and the cashier asked me if I wanted to add on my things. I said no and took the receipt from him. I handed it to her. She asked, "and what is this?" I told her, "I paid for it. God told me to pay and so I did. Don't worry. Have a good night." I pat her on her shoulder and smiled. I shook throughout my whole body; I was so nervous. I didn't know what to do except turn around and start putting my own things on the counter. They lingered and talked to one another...baffled. They told me thank you and smiled. The husband simply scratched his head and looked down. They were speechless. They walked a little further and I continued to shake, keep a smile on, and put the rest of my items on the belt. They spoke to their kids. They told their daughter to come and tell me thank you. She told the cashier thank you-she was confused. I told her she was welcome and bid them a good night again. They both bid me a good night. I smiled and I didn't stop...until I got to my car, unloaded all of my groceries, and then closed the door and sat inside alone. Then I cried. Jesus did that for us. He paid the "bill" for us. How wonderful it feels. How He must have cried after.
Yes, they looked like my family. I remember receiving food from others...it felt so good that I would eat it differently. Everything tasted better-all of a sudden the same food you've always had before was sweeter. You were free to enjoy it. The weightlessness of it was rewarding. My part in blessing that family was the best feeling in the world...why don't I do that more often? How will it feel for them to carry that food into their home having not spent a dime? I know that feeling, actually...and it's a great one.
Thank you, God, for blessing me in order to bless others. Thank you for putting these resources in my care. I want to do better with them. You have asked me to take care of the widows, orphans, and the poor. I will.
I remember a religious speaker say once that you can't expect that God will bless you so that you will go and bless others. God wants to see what you do with the blessings that you have right now. If you share your blessings now, you will share them later. If you don't share them right now, you won't magically start sharing them later. So his point was...if you expect to give to the poor when you're rich, then you should already be giving when you're not. It's kind of like training. Then God can bless you and He will know what you'll do with it. In all blessings, not just money, I want to do better about taking care of them and blessing others with them now, not only when they are in abundance.
Lord, I want to do it over and over again. I want to get so good at it that it's all I live for. I love Your command--love one another. Thank you for the devotional it took tonight to wake me up from my self-absorption.
