Women Encouraging Women: A Father's Touch

I was incredibly honored to have been asked to speak at Women Encouraging Women on Tuesday night. The experience was awesome and I felt utterly blessed by everyone I spoke to. I was so nervous!

The theme of the night was "Fingerprints of God". The women who organized the evening had asked women from our church to submit photographs through which they had seen the fingerprints of God. When I received the email about the theme, I was ecstatic!! This is my element! I can do this! I told my Mama Cindy and she said, "I say you find out if there's a limit of how many pictures you can submit and then ignore it." It was hilarious. Later the same day, I received an email from the women's minister at my church to see if I would speak at it. Whaaat?? Are you serious? I prayed about it (nerves in hand), and felt a resounding "Yes!" from the Lord on my run that day. Awesome!

For the next few weeks, God would begin feeding me lessons and opening my eyes to the things I've learned on my journey in the past 4 years. It has been an amazing one! I have exercised my faith in a number of ways and the Spirit has rested in me and has a warm, comfy nest! After each new revelation, I would write down what He showed me, and it became exciting. As the days rolled by, the emphasis of my talk changed several times. It was funny how I thought I knew what I would say the moment I said yes-I thought I would talk about photography, of course! Why not? That's what I do, it's my gift! Well, God had other plans.

God kept putting before me this amazing gift He had sent me in my spiritual father, Daryl. Daryl was a blessing I never saw coming. I am still amazed at God's goodness through this blessing!

Well, here is my scripted talk. You should know that it was not the same at the actual event--I'm a teacher. I never go by the script...and I had about 10 minutes ;)

A little background about me: I'm from Victoria, Texas and I come from a family of 12 siblings. I was blessed with the experience of growing up in poverty. Most people would look at that and say it could never be a blessing, but indeed it was. I didn't feel that way while I was in it, but it has truly affected what I teach my kids. God took care of my every need and I was raised by the church! I am a product of the bus ministry. I rode the bus from when I was 5 to about senior year or so in high school. I had people come to my home to pick me up to go to church. Have you ever wondered what would become of the Impact kids you take shopping? Well here you have one before you. Your work is valuable. Be in their face with your support. Don’t stay in your neighborhood-visit their church (and I’m talking to me as well!)

As a child in poverty, you learn many tough lessons fast. You learn that your parents cannot provide. You learn to go without. You learn to look for help…you stay humble in many ways. My father provided countless life lessons to me (as did my mother), and one of those was the tenacity to pursue God. So many holes to fill in here, but my father was an honorable man.

When he passed away in 2007, it was like someone had cut the chain that kept me grounded. Just like that, I felt like I was floating away. Who would teach me the rest of what I needed to know? I was upset and soo soo sad—it was too early for me to lose him. He still had so much to show me and now he couldn’t. When he died, he asked forgiveness from everyone he had come in contact with. Tenacity. In his last breaths he told my sister, “Don’t leave me.” He was scared. Then a short time later he said, “I’m not scared anymore.” Tenacity. He pursued God even in his last breath.

Without realizing what was going on, I started to rebel. No father means no conscience. I began to make bad decisions and ultimately turned my back on God. Harvey and I nearly got a divorce. For about 2 years we struggled and I went to church every Sunday. Gerald Bendele knew I was struggling and he worked to help me.

Ultimately, to pull me out of the darkness, God first showed me grace, then gave me discipline. These things together created who I am right now. I accepted the grace, accepted the discipline (and even fought it!), I humbled myself, worked on removing gods I had created in that time period and began to seek Him out.

Now I am still working. I will never stop working to know God! He has blessed me with riches beyond measure in return. He has blessed me with a photographic eye, a wonderful family, and now with a wonderful spiritual father and mother. He knew what I needed more than I did, and he knew I needed someone to help me steer this spiritual ship so he sent Daryl and Cindy. The torch has been passed. I have been gifted a father. How amazing! It just so happened that Cindy and Daryl were members of the church of Christ at Jersey Village. I met Cindy through work. I didn't expect at that time that she would become such an integral part of my life. Daryl has the annointing of an elder in the church. It has been so easy for me to transition into this trusting relationship because as a young girl, I would watch these men come to my home and support us. You go to the poverty stricken homes, you bring them presents at Christmas, you bring them food...I was used to the support. These men were father figures to me all of my life. They still are. Daryl is exactly what I needed and God granted him to me.

My spiritual father and my daughter

Our spiritual family (this is what the church is about)

Get to know our God who is father to the fatherless. (Psalm 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.) God’s plan for our elders was to be our earthly fathers. Why does he refer to himself as father? It is the most molding relationship there is in the family dynamic. He is our father and he has appointed fathers for us on earth. (Acts 20:28 Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.) Acts 20:28 talks about how the Holy Spirit has made the elder what he is-an overseer. The relationships these men have with the people in the church are a very sacred and spiritual thing; they are not man-made. God creates in him the spirit of an overseer and as such he knows the work of God. I don't know where you are in terms of your relationship with your own father. Perhaps you have lost your father like I have. What I believe God intended for these men was to be your earthly spiritual father as you grow. If you need one, that's what they're there for; that is their calling.

Another thing I was taught and learned was that I must love God more than I love my husband. I love God more than anything. You need to love God more than you love your husbands. Your love for your husband will vary from day to day (You've got to know that). Wives have been trying to get their husbands to love them, but they are going about it the wrong way. You must love God more than you love your husband and in turn he must love God more than he loves you. I asked Harvey to do this a couple years after our near-divorce. I know that he needs that stability in his life. Loving God more than me will bring him joy and actually open his heart for me. If Harvey doesn't love me, my God will create love from nothing since He created the world and all of humanity out of nothing. If Harvey does already love me, then how much more so will God create love in Harvey's heart for me? Our God is also a God of openness. His ways are counter-intuitive. He doesn’t work the way you think. You think purposely loving God more will make you love your husband less. I am here before you as a witness to God’s plan to say that is far from the truth. I love my husband more now that I place God as the joy of my life. If I didn’t decide to do that, then what is faith? Think on that.

Don’t put your husband in an impossible position. Don’t idolize him. He will fail.

Get to know our God who gives sight to the blind not only physically, but spiritually! He breaks through the barriers of darkness and gives sight. Take the blinders off and open the shades of your spirit. Drink in the Lord and see that He is good.

God not only gives sight to the blind physically but goes farther even to the point to where those that are physically blind can still see His goodness. He works where our humanity believes there is no work and His hands not only work, but create beauty in that place. Even if you are physically able to see, you can still be blind spiritually. If you love God more than anything and you can see what I have seen, He will open your eyes to His beauty and you will see His fingerprints everywhere.

Cindy and I had a lot of great talks before and after the event. I was soooo glad to have her there. She truly is an amazing woman! I appreciate that she takes my sometimes radical questions, ideas, and statements and attempts to understand what I'm trying to say. She validates my feelings. Thank you, mama Cindy!

I know God was able to use me after what I heard from different people that night and it just astounds me still that the little poor girl from Victoria, Texas can impact anyone. I am humbled. God is SO good!