"To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted." Titus 1:15
I've been absent from blogging for one reason and one reason only: I've allowed to let my earthly desires and selfishness get a hold of me. I've taken a hit in my purity walk and it only took an event or two for it to happen. Much like a boxer coming back from consciousness after being laid out on the ring floor, I am slowly and steadily trying to stand, bloodied and bruised. Actually, I'm crying. Satan has had his way long enough. So I take off my gloves, and unlike my culture teaches me, I give up. I hand my gloves over to someone else. Jesus walks in. Will I let Him fight for me? Or do I think I can still defeat Satan?
"They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." Titus 1:16
This has been me recently. Paul has some heavy words to say about me, I'll admit, and it's tough to take. I'll glaze over being detestable and know that through being disobedient, I've been unfit for doing much (not any) good. My conscience has been inked and that small spot of ink has dirtied the pure waters of my heart.
I've noticed the lives I've led-a pure God-seeking life, and a selfish self-seeking one, and I find so much joy in the first; heartache in the second. In fact, the heartache is so profound, it disables me. It cripples my feel for people, my love for what is holy and beautiful. Worse than that, it disguises itself so I'm not even sure I'm suffering. The only way I can tell I am is that I am not able to lay myself and my resources out for people. I cannot be poured! When I am, it's tiring. The heartache teaches me a new kind of "beautiful"-a counterfeit. Satan is the master of counterfeits. He will take anything that is pure and make a counterfeit so we will believe in it instead. He's very good at it. So I take that heartache and I swallow it down. I quench the Spirit within me...stop talking. "I'm ok. It will all be fine."
I am a believer. But I am not pure. Do I have the faith it takes to allow Jesus to step in, defeat this enemy, wipe me clean, then obey what He asks me to do? Will I allow it? Will I harden my heart when the Spirit urges me again to call for help? Or will I soften it and believe my riches are in heaven-not here. Am I searching for a better country? Or do I want to return to my old one? By faith "they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:15-16.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." Hebrews 11:1
I remember thinking how awesome it was when Jesus said we need only to have faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. I remember having the purity of heart and the love for Jesus that made me say, "I'm not shooting for a mustard seed...I'm shooting higher."
I do have faith. Acting out faith is so much harder. I want the book of God to say, "By faith, Julizza chose Christ and what is pure over herself when she ... and He prepared a place for her."
"God again set a certain day, calling it 'Today.' This he did when a long time later he spoke through David...'Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.'" Hebrews 4:7
What will I do today when I hear his voice? God has instructed me not to do what I have become accustomed to doing recently--harden my heart. So today I take my gloves off, soften my heart, cry out to Jesus, and He sends His angels to minister to me from our corner. "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" Hebrews 1:14
Although Jesus already knows what I need, this blog helps me with that cry.
"Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned." Hebrews 6:7
The rain that falls are the very words of God, the teachings, and the Spirit that reminds. I want to produce a crop, O God! I know You will test and see where my heart is as I bear fruit...Your word is alive and it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, and judges the thoughts and attitudes of my heart. Nothing within me is hidden from Your sight, so when I hand these gloves over...may I do it fully. May the aroma of my surrender be pleasing to You. May I taste and enjoy the purity that comes from a life thrown upon You once again.
To be continued...
I've been absent from blogging for one reason and one reason only: I've allowed to let my earthly desires and selfishness get a hold of me. I've taken a hit in my purity walk and it only took an event or two for it to happen. Much like a boxer coming back from consciousness after being laid out on the ring floor, I am slowly and steadily trying to stand, bloodied and bruised. Actually, I'm crying. Satan has had his way long enough. So I take off my gloves, and unlike my culture teaches me, I give up. I hand my gloves over to someone else. Jesus walks in. Will I let Him fight for me? Or do I think I can still defeat Satan?
"They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." Titus 1:16
This has been me recently. Paul has some heavy words to say about me, I'll admit, and it's tough to take. I'll glaze over being detestable and know that through being disobedient, I've been unfit for doing much (not any) good. My conscience has been inked and that small spot of ink has dirtied the pure waters of my heart.
I've noticed the lives I've led-a pure God-seeking life, and a selfish self-seeking one, and I find so much joy in the first; heartache in the second. In fact, the heartache is so profound, it disables me. It cripples my feel for people, my love for what is holy and beautiful. Worse than that, it disguises itself so I'm not even sure I'm suffering. The only way I can tell I am is that I am not able to lay myself and my resources out for people. I cannot be poured! When I am, it's tiring. The heartache teaches me a new kind of "beautiful"-a counterfeit. Satan is the master of counterfeits. He will take anything that is pure and make a counterfeit so we will believe in it instead. He's very good at it. So I take that heartache and I swallow it down. I quench the Spirit within me...stop talking. "I'm ok. It will all be fine."
I am a believer. But I am not pure. Do I have the faith it takes to allow Jesus to step in, defeat this enemy, wipe me clean, then obey what He asks me to do? Will I allow it? Will I harden my heart when the Spirit urges me again to call for help? Or will I soften it and believe my riches are in heaven-not here. Am I searching for a better country? Or do I want to return to my old one? By faith "they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11:15-16.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for." Hebrews 11:1
I remember thinking how awesome it was when Jesus said we need only to have faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. I remember having the purity of heart and the love for Jesus that made me say, "I'm not shooting for a mustard seed...I'm shooting higher."
I do have faith. Acting out faith is so much harder. I want the book of God to say, "By faith, Julizza chose Christ and what is pure over herself when she ... and He prepared a place for her."
"God again set a certain day, calling it 'Today.' This he did when a long time later he spoke through David...'Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.'" Hebrews 4:7
What will I do today when I hear his voice? God has instructed me not to do what I have become accustomed to doing recently--harden my heart. So today I take my gloves off, soften my heart, cry out to Jesus, and He sends His angels to minister to me from our corner. "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" Hebrews 1:14
Although Jesus already knows what I need, this blog helps me with that cry.
"Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned." Hebrews 6:7
The rain that falls are the very words of God, the teachings, and the Spirit that reminds. I want to produce a crop, O God! I know You will test and see where my heart is as I bear fruit...Your word is alive and it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, and judges the thoughts and attitudes of my heart. Nothing within me is hidden from Your sight, so when I hand these gloves over...may I do it fully. May the aroma of my surrender be pleasing to You. May I taste and enjoy the purity that comes from a life thrown upon You once again.
To be continued...
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