I'm behind on my blogs; I actually hit a hard wall for a few weeks and prayed and prayed for inspiration. It hasn't helped that I have been in a valley for a little over a week, maybe two. Even with my wall, God has been faithful and I've been blessed to have many opportunities of spiritual significance come my way. My spiritual "territory" was expanded and the opportunity to give God the glory for where my life is now was created. How good is God!
In my prayers for inspirations, I was seeking a word from the Lord about the legacy I want to be. My parents and their words of wisdom for me have created in me a desire and need to uplift their legacy in me to a height that cannot be denied. My mother continues to be on her faith journey and it has challenged me to get to know God better and pray that her journey be blessed. My father's words from when he was alive still speak to me and his desire for my life is still so clear in my heart. I want to be a legacy for my father in such a way that will bring him honor before the Lord when we stand next to each other one day in heaven. I want God to say to my father, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Then I want God to turn to my mother and me and say the same. This is the legacy I speak of. I want my life to uplift Jesus and reflect the love of God so that it cannot be missed and I want to make it so known to God that it was the seeds of my parents that were planted in me that spurred me on. His servants, my parents, did well.
I'm not exactly sure where this desire comes from and why it is so strong. I have prayed for and asked to feel the Spirit in it. I have looked and searched for a biblical reference, but alas, I could find none. Do you know the word "legacy" is nowhere in the bible (at least not in the NIV and the KJV only uses it once in Prov 3:5 The wise shall inherit glory, But shame shall be the legacy of fools)? There is no biblical reference that I could find that showed the son or daughter of a person becoming what they are in life because of the legacy created by their parents. I don't know about you, but that seemed so strange. Some synonyms were used often: inheritance, heritage, birthright. But these words are used in reference to real things--riches and land--even in the New Testament. Our legacy from Christ is riches in heaven that will not fade away. But what about character traits? Can I be a benefactor of faith? Can I inherit spirituality? Belief?
Thus enter the wall. For as I read my bible a few weeks ago, I remember hearing about a family of a very important character. The story talked about how he would inherit the faith of his ancestors. That was good news to me because as I think about the history of my father and mother, their families, and my ancestors, I can remember the stories of immense faith and belief in the unseen, the untouchable. They believed that God would provide them with a way, with food, with their daily needs. I know my father gave the credit to God for how he was able to provide for our family of 12. My mother gives credit to God for being able to take care of us all, many times alone. So when I read this story I thought, "Wow. That's great news. Now I know why I am the way I am--I've inherited faith." The problem is that when I went back to write this blog and pull the reference it was no longer there; I looked up everywhere I had been reading (I skip around at a lot). God hid it from me. I struggled with that, but I accepted it. I thought perhaps it's more complicated than what I'm trying to make it into. God has more for me to learn. He's not through with me yet.
I still haven't found that instance, that passage, that family. I'm ok--if it's there, then I'll find it again or someone reading this will send it to me. But what I learned from God through this was so profound that I am glad He hid it from me--He always has a plan and He knows I am teachable and I will continue to search. My true desire was to be able to tell others, "I have an inheritance of faith from my parents." God's response to that was, "What then of those who don't? Does it mean that they cannot have faith? How does that make them feel?" God and faith is open to all--inheritance or not. I also wanted to say, "God, my parents passed this down to me, please bless them and know that they shaped me well; they've done a good job with me." His response to me was, "Julizza, your faith is yours. You have chosen to believe. You have chosen to believe that I walk beside you, that I see you. Not everyone chooses to believe. Take credit for that belief." I don't like taking credit. Many times, I want someone else to get the credit. This trait of mine can be good and bad. God told me it is ok to take credit for my own faith and for the belief I have in Him. The truth he had for me hit me between the eyes. Can you recognize truth when you hear it? It doesn't always come from us (definitely not me). He is real.
So I was a little embarrassed. Here I thought I was doing something good, giving my parents all the credit. Here God uses me to teach me some truth along the way. I still am a legacy and I am still who I am because of the seeds they planted, so yes, they get a lot of the credit. But not totally. God says my belief is mine.
My father used to say to me, "Julizza, you have inherited strong genes. The Gomez family is strong in health. We don't get sickly, we don't get cancers, you'll never have to worry about your weight. You will be healthy all of your life. Always remember that--you have strong blood."
Well, I not only have strong blood, but I have strong faith. The Gomez/Holub family is strong in faith, in belief.
To my children, in whom I am trying so hard to instill a faith and zest for God: I, your mom, have strong faith. I truly believe that God works beside you and watches over you just because I ask Him to. I believe I talk to Jesus, I walk with God. I've changed God's mind before. I've asked Jesus to put on some shorts and running shoes; that robe and those sandals look funny and besides--we're jogging. You will be a legacy to me, and I pray that the faith you have one day will be from the seeds I have planted in you. I pray for you and I smile when I think about you. I picture the Creator with His canvas when He painted you. I know you are God's son and daughter, and I have been asked to take care of you for this short while and love you as much as I possibly can. You have strong blood. I pray that your legacy be one of faith and seeking, and may you choose to believe...and take credit for it.
Revelation 4:
After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.” At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings.
Day and night they never stop saying:
“‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.”
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever.
They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
Thank you, God, for creating me. Thank you for the way I was made. I was made to bring You glory and honor and praise. You are holy, holy, holy dear Lord. You are my friend. You are my everlasting love. I want to breathe you into my whole body. My lungs cannot contain your breath; every air you inspire. Your wind and sweetness is too much for my humanity to bear. I look forward to the day that I can dwell in your holy presence; being filled with your light in the new body you have given me that can feel and breathe and has no limits to feeling your glory. You are my portion and my ultimate desire. Take a look at your servant, dear God. I am in love with You. ~jh
In my prayers for inspirations, I was seeking a word from the Lord about the legacy I want to be. My parents and their words of wisdom for me have created in me a desire and need to uplift their legacy in me to a height that cannot be denied. My mother continues to be on her faith journey and it has challenged me to get to know God better and pray that her journey be blessed. My father's words from when he was alive still speak to me and his desire for my life is still so clear in my heart. I want to be a legacy for my father in such a way that will bring him honor before the Lord when we stand next to each other one day in heaven. I want God to say to my father, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Then I want God to turn to my mother and me and say the same. This is the legacy I speak of. I want my life to uplift Jesus and reflect the love of God so that it cannot be missed and I want to make it so known to God that it was the seeds of my parents that were planted in me that spurred me on. His servants, my parents, did well.
I'm not exactly sure where this desire comes from and why it is so strong. I have prayed for and asked to feel the Spirit in it. I have looked and searched for a biblical reference, but alas, I could find none. Do you know the word "legacy" is nowhere in the bible (at least not in the NIV and the KJV only uses it once in Prov 3:5 The wise shall inherit glory, But shame shall be the legacy of fools)? There is no biblical reference that I could find that showed the son or daughter of a person becoming what they are in life because of the legacy created by their parents. I don't know about you, but that seemed so strange. Some synonyms were used often: inheritance, heritage, birthright. But these words are used in reference to real things--riches and land--even in the New Testament. Our legacy from Christ is riches in heaven that will not fade away. But what about character traits? Can I be a benefactor of faith? Can I inherit spirituality? Belief?
Thus enter the wall. For as I read my bible a few weeks ago, I remember hearing about a family of a very important character. The story talked about how he would inherit the faith of his ancestors. That was good news to me because as I think about the history of my father and mother, their families, and my ancestors, I can remember the stories of immense faith and belief in the unseen, the untouchable. They believed that God would provide them with a way, with food, with their daily needs. I know my father gave the credit to God for how he was able to provide for our family of 12. My mother gives credit to God for being able to take care of us all, many times alone. So when I read this story I thought, "Wow. That's great news. Now I know why I am the way I am--I've inherited faith." The problem is that when I went back to write this blog and pull the reference it was no longer there; I looked up everywhere I had been reading (I skip around at a lot). God hid it from me. I struggled with that, but I accepted it. I thought perhaps it's more complicated than what I'm trying to make it into. God has more for me to learn. He's not through with me yet.
I still haven't found that instance, that passage, that family. I'm ok--if it's there, then I'll find it again or someone reading this will send it to me. But what I learned from God through this was so profound that I am glad He hid it from me--He always has a plan and He knows I am teachable and I will continue to search. My true desire was to be able to tell others, "I have an inheritance of faith from my parents." God's response to that was, "What then of those who don't? Does it mean that they cannot have faith? How does that make them feel?" God and faith is open to all--inheritance or not. I also wanted to say, "God, my parents passed this down to me, please bless them and know that they shaped me well; they've done a good job with me." His response to me was, "Julizza, your faith is yours. You have chosen to believe. You have chosen to believe that I walk beside you, that I see you. Not everyone chooses to believe. Take credit for that belief." I don't like taking credit. Many times, I want someone else to get the credit. This trait of mine can be good and bad. God told me it is ok to take credit for my own faith and for the belief I have in Him. The truth he had for me hit me between the eyes. Can you recognize truth when you hear it? It doesn't always come from us (definitely not me). He is real.
So I was a little embarrassed. Here I thought I was doing something good, giving my parents all the credit. Here God uses me to teach me some truth along the way. I still am a legacy and I am still who I am because of the seeds they planted, so yes, they get a lot of the credit. But not totally. God says my belief is mine.
My father used to say to me, "Julizza, you have inherited strong genes. The Gomez family is strong in health. We don't get sickly, we don't get cancers, you'll never have to worry about your weight. You will be healthy all of your life. Always remember that--you have strong blood."
Well, I not only have strong blood, but I have strong faith. The Gomez/Holub family is strong in faith, in belief.
To my children, in whom I am trying so hard to instill a faith and zest for God: I, your mom, have strong faith. I truly believe that God works beside you and watches over you just because I ask Him to. I believe I talk to Jesus, I walk with God. I've changed God's mind before. I've asked Jesus to put on some shorts and running shoes; that robe and those sandals look funny and besides--we're jogging. You will be a legacy to me, and I pray that the faith you have one day will be from the seeds I have planted in you. I pray for you and I smile when I think about you. I picture the Creator with His canvas when He painted you. I know you are God's son and daughter, and I have been asked to take care of you for this short while and love you as much as I possibly can. You have strong blood. I pray that your legacy be one of faith and seeking, and may you choose to believe...and take credit for it.
Revelation 4:
After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.” At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings.
Day and night they never stop saying:
“‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.”
Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever.
They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
Thank you, God, for creating me. Thank you for the way I was made. I was made to bring You glory and honor and praise. You are holy, holy, holy dear Lord. You are my friend. You are my everlasting love. I want to breathe you into my whole body. My lungs cannot contain your breath; every air you inspire. Your wind and sweetness is too much for my humanity to bear. I look forward to the day that I can dwell in your holy presence; being filled with your light in the new body you have given me that can feel and breathe and has no limits to feeling your glory. You are my portion and my ultimate desire. Take a look at your servant, dear God. I am in love with You. ~jh
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