As a young girl one day, I sat at the kitchen table, lining up my cards, determined to win. I had taken a liking to the game of solitaire and had learned to play from my Dad, who enjoyed playing and sitting in the same spot. I didn't really understand all of the ins and outs of the game, nor what made a move good or bad. I simply put the cards where they went and arranged them in their place. Black 4 on a red 5, red queen on a black king... draw three cards. Red 9, but no black 10. Draw three more. If I got stuck, I'd sometimes "accidentally" draw two cards instead of three. Or start drawing by one. Many times, that's how I was able to win. I enjoyed the collection of all of the cards on their appropriate Ace stack at the end, but the building of the lines was the most fun. I loved to move an entire line of cards off their stack, connect it to the bottom of another, and reveal a fresh new opportunity below by flipping over the hidden card underneath.
I sat at the kitchen table that day and my Dad walked in and as he took the step down into the room from the dining area, he noticed me sitting there playing and said, "Don't cheat at solitaire." I hardly looked up from what I was doing. He got something from the refrigerator and placed it on the cutting table between the window and the stove and started working with his back turned to me. "You're only cheating yourself." I looked up for a moment and saw him there, and sat perplexed for a minute. How did he know I was cheating? How does anyone know I'm cheating? I'm the only one that can know, right? I'm not playing against anyone, so I'm not hurting anyone. Is that still cheating? I'm playing by myself! How is that cheating? I'm helping myself. I don't get it. I give a quick mind nod at him like, "Ok, Dad, you never cheat and here you are reminding me how to be good again, so thanks for the tip, but I like how I'm doing things. I like winning, it's really not a big deal, and I'm not hurting anyone." I roll my eyes in my head and decide he's just talking crazy again as I shake off the advice and go back to winning.
That was when I was 9 or 10 years old. I'm 36 now and I finally get it. 25 years of life had to pass by for me to even start to understand and now apply the wisdom from his words. Don't cheat at solitaire. You're only cheating yourself. His point was that cheating was not a solution to the game. When you cheat, you are going beyond the rules to an alternate reality and therefore, you're not winning the game you started. Once you cheat, the game is over and you're no longer learning how to become a better player, you're just winning a game that was over as soon as you committed the act. By doing so, you're cheating yourself out of a chance to taste a real victory earned by your own skill. No one can feel that victory like you can, nor can they feel that defeat when you cheat. Don't cheat at solitaire. You're only cheating yourself.
Life is a game of solitaire. And most profoundly, my relationship with God is a game of solitaire. There was a turning point in my relationship with Him where I could cheat and make it seem like things were good enough (start drawing by ones again), or I could put my thinking cap on and really explore and trust and get to know Him further (continue drawing by three). Let me tell you, the decision for this inherent cheater was not easy. My tendency to cheat and take the easier road beckoned me with a wonderful and light familiarity. I could have cheated. And I could have stayed empty. But I was tired of being tired. He said in His word that He could bear my burdens and I wanted to know if He could really. It sounded good. I knew my burdens were slowing me down and killing me. I wanted to get rid of them. So I started my journey of getting to know God through prayer jogs, prayer walks, praying at home, reading books, reading my Bible, putting myself in His shoes, listening to worship songs, paying attention to and believing their lyrics. I began telling Him everything. Yes, everything. Even the things I wanted to hide and stay ashamed of. I wanted to cheat, but then I would only be cheating myself out of a real relationship with Him that I could be proud of. It's what I wanted. The kind of relationship that caused the apostle Paul to be joyful in prison. It would be a real thing I could nurture and trust, instead of feeling like I could only come when I needed something.
Now six years have passed and I've pushed myself to let Him in. I am blessed to experience a relationship, confidence, and fullness I never thought possible in Him. I have become certain He lives and can hear me, which I just pretended to know before. Don't cheat at God. You're only cheating yourself out of something truly remarkable. And you may not feel the hurt and it may not sting you because cheating never does, but it will sting when you get to the end and realize what you lost by pretending. That's what motivated me. I didn't want to be someone who got to heaven and realized then that I wish I would have gotten to know Him more while on earth. I didn't want to regret that. I will still feel awe in heaven because there's no way to experience Him like that here, but I will regret less that I tried all I could to know him here. If I don't do this and I am a believer, what then is life about? This relationship shapes my experience here. If you're pretending you have a relationship with Him, you know you are. Only you and He know you're pretending. There is a better way. He promises it's good. And He's eager for you to know Him fully.
The same can be said about so many things, way too many for me to mention. Your friendships, relationships, and skills are all a game of solitaire. Only you know what you're putting into it. Only you know if you are capable of better or if you're cheating. Only you can choose not to cheat yourself out of the goodness that a job well done has to offer. With pure and loving pursuit, there is no guilt. Without guilt, there are no chains. Without chains, there is freedom. Don't cheat yourself out of freedom. That is something you most definitely want.
I sat at the kitchen table that day and my Dad walked in and as he took the step down into the room from the dining area, he noticed me sitting there playing and said, "Don't cheat at solitaire." I hardly looked up from what I was doing. He got something from the refrigerator and placed it on the cutting table between the window and the stove and started working with his back turned to me. "You're only cheating yourself." I looked up for a moment and saw him there, and sat perplexed for a minute. How did he know I was cheating? How does anyone know I'm cheating? I'm the only one that can know, right? I'm not playing against anyone, so I'm not hurting anyone. Is that still cheating? I'm playing by myself! How is that cheating? I'm helping myself. I don't get it. I give a quick mind nod at him like, "Ok, Dad, you never cheat and here you are reminding me how to be good again, so thanks for the tip, but I like how I'm doing things. I like winning, it's really not a big deal, and I'm not hurting anyone." I roll my eyes in my head and decide he's just talking crazy again as I shake off the advice and go back to winning.
That was when I was 9 or 10 years old. I'm 36 now and I finally get it. 25 years of life had to pass by for me to even start to understand and now apply the wisdom from his words. Don't cheat at solitaire. You're only cheating yourself. His point was that cheating was not a solution to the game. When you cheat, you are going beyond the rules to an alternate reality and therefore, you're not winning the game you started. Once you cheat, the game is over and you're no longer learning how to become a better player, you're just winning a game that was over as soon as you committed the act. By doing so, you're cheating yourself out of a chance to taste a real victory earned by your own skill. No one can feel that victory like you can, nor can they feel that defeat when you cheat. Don't cheat at solitaire. You're only cheating yourself.
Life is a game of solitaire. And most profoundly, my relationship with God is a game of solitaire. There was a turning point in my relationship with Him where I could cheat and make it seem like things were good enough (start drawing by ones again), or I could put my thinking cap on and really explore and trust and get to know Him further (continue drawing by three). Let me tell you, the decision for this inherent cheater was not easy. My tendency to cheat and take the easier road beckoned me with a wonderful and light familiarity. I could have cheated. And I could have stayed empty. But I was tired of being tired. He said in His word that He could bear my burdens and I wanted to know if He could really. It sounded good. I knew my burdens were slowing me down and killing me. I wanted to get rid of them. So I started my journey of getting to know God through prayer jogs, prayer walks, praying at home, reading books, reading my Bible, putting myself in His shoes, listening to worship songs, paying attention to and believing their lyrics. I began telling Him everything. Yes, everything. Even the things I wanted to hide and stay ashamed of. I wanted to cheat, but then I would only be cheating myself out of a real relationship with Him that I could be proud of. It's what I wanted. The kind of relationship that caused the apostle Paul to be joyful in prison. It would be a real thing I could nurture and trust, instead of feeling like I could only come when I needed something.
Now six years have passed and I've pushed myself to let Him in. I am blessed to experience a relationship, confidence, and fullness I never thought possible in Him. I have become certain He lives and can hear me, which I just pretended to know before. Don't cheat at God. You're only cheating yourself out of something truly remarkable. And you may not feel the hurt and it may not sting you because cheating never does, but it will sting when you get to the end and realize what you lost by pretending. That's what motivated me. I didn't want to be someone who got to heaven and realized then that I wish I would have gotten to know Him more while on earth. I didn't want to regret that. I will still feel awe in heaven because there's no way to experience Him like that here, but I will regret less that I tried all I could to know him here. If I don't do this and I am a believer, what then is life about? This relationship shapes my experience here. If you're pretending you have a relationship with Him, you know you are. Only you and He know you're pretending. There is a better way. He promises it's good. And He's eager for you to know Him fully.
The same can be said about so many things, way too many for me to mention. Your friendships, relationships, and skills are all a game of solitaire. Only you know what you're putting into it. Only you know if you are capable of better or if you're cheating. Only you can choose not to cheat yourself out of the goodness that a job well done has to offer. With pure and loving pursuit, there is no guilt. Without guilt, there are no chains. Without chains, there is freedom. Don't cheat yourself out of freedom. That is something you most definitely want.
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