Tears

What fortune lies beyond the stars
Those dazzling heights too vast to climb
I got so high to fall so far
But I found heaven as love swept low

My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

What treasure waits within Your scars
This gift of freedom gold can't buy
I bought the world and sold my heart
You traded heaven to have me again

My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

Find me here at Your feet again
Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender
Come sweep me up in Your love again
And my soul will dance
On the wings of forever

Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky
When my knees hit the ground

~Hillsong, Touch the Sky

I've been going to the gym a lot lately. Trying to build muscle and get in shape. I've pushed harder this time than I ever have before. I was feeling down about missing a few workouts lately and my friend encouraged me.

"Don't beat yourself up. You do know how muscles grow, don't you?" he asked.

"Ummm....no?" I responded, a bit ashamed that I had never really thought about that before.

"Well, while you're working out, you're tearing your muscles. That's why you're sore afterward, because of all of those microscopic tears. After you workout, your body repairs and replaces the damaged muscle fibers, fusing them together, and they become stronger. The thing is, this doesn't happen while you're lifting weights, as you might think. It happens while you rest. So don't worry too much about giving your body some rest."

Immediately, my mind is on God's design. My mind is blown. I've been torn. Torn in my relationships, business, learning, trials, life. The thing is, I can completely shy down from these tears, just like I would shy down from going to the gym to avoid the soreness afterward, but then that means I wouldn't get stronger. The design of God is always counterintuitive. Through our sin He strengthens us, through our trials He molds and shapes us, through our constant messing up, He transforms us. 

I recently wondered if on my holiest day I could ever come close to the love David had for God in his heart. It was this week and I was running. Then God revealed the secret. It's not on my holiest day that I match that love for God most, it's on my most torn up day. And he repairs and strengthens me. I pray I always look for the strength in the tears.

I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.